Our second pregnancy child would have been due today, had the pregnancy not ended in miscarriage last summer. I thought I either would breeze by this day without thinking about it or that it would be hard to deal with. I'm finding that neither is true today. Obviously, I'm thinking about it. But it's not hard. We love that child - and the memory of that child - just as much as we love Jackson and Amelia. But it's a distant kind of love. Sort of an in-between ghost child who gets to look on both big brother and little sister with love from wherever s/he is. We're not big believers in divine plans, but both Dan and I have faith in the universe and trust that things work out because they're supposed to sometimes. We're positively in love with all of our children. And feel so damn lucky to have had any time with them - these past two years with Jackson, a few weeks with our middle child and the anticipation of Amelia.