Dear Neighborhood Thugs:
Just this week two things have happened right in our front yard that have caused us much grief: our son's sled was stolen from our front door step and his snowman that he built with his Dad this weekend was tipped over. Do you know anything about these two unfortunate incidents? Perhaps you could shed some light on the matter for us, and give us some insight into why these activities -- ruining good old winter fun -- are enjoyable to some members of our society.
Tipping over a snowman? What, if our home were actually a farm with a cow grazing in front would you tip her over too?
Stealing a toddler's sled? Are you kidding? Are you aware of how many times our son has asked after his sled since we discovered it was gone? Maybe you should come over here and try to explain to the 2-year old that it was stolen and he'll never see it again.
We're not even going to mention the incredibly frustrating acts of bad-neighborlyness happening behind our house, like the garbage bags full of meat and animal bones that continually appear in our smaller-than-average-sized garbage can, or the cars that regularly park in front of our driveway. No, this time we're focusing on the front yard, winter fun and our kid.
Dude(s), you've hurt our kid. That's not cool. We're pissed. We can't threaten a "don't do this shit again or else" sort of thing, because, we don't know who you are. But if we see you in the act of defiling our yard or stealing our son's toys again...well, it won't just be an open letter now, will it?
Despite your thuggery, we refuse to stop having fun. We will slide down hills with pizza boxes if we have to and keep building more snowmen each time it snows. Just like the Grinch who tried to steal Christmas but it happened anyway, you can't stop us from living a rich and full life in our city, complete with Norman Rockwell scenes outside and hot chocolate inside.
And I guess it's a damn good thing that not only are we neighbors who will remain positive and vigilant, but we are also residents who volunteer on the neighborhood board and stay active in our community. We will work to build the neighborhood we want: a safe neighborhood.
Dude(s). Stop. Thugs are out. A strong neighborhood is in.